Tuesday, January 1, 2008

Pleasantville is anti-christian?

I guess I missed the memo where opening ones heart to others and creating community through diversity is unChristlike. Because he had all of the perfect ones in his brood. Oh yeah, I bet everyone LoooOOOOooooved the tax man! And lets not forget that he spent his time working with the, well, in Pleasantville terms, Colored folks. The imperfects.

In Ishbane there's a whole thing on the demons (whatever they are) using this movie to lure Christians away.

What do you mean I can't masturbate in the bathtub and love a painter?

What is funny is that I did consider showing this to my youth group. I would omit the sexual scenes because I'm not looking for a fight (today) but I think its an excellent film about tolerance and community growth. And who can ignore the conversations such a film inspires on racism and prejudice of difference! The water fountains say "colored" on them, people! This is a film that is on God's side!

Why is it that when reading Christian literature I always feel like God has given up on us? I am sick and tired of defending my own faith to myself. I think I'm ready for a sabbatical. Do Interims get sabbaticals? Doubtful. They don't even like me having an office. (as a touché I work from home. All that unused space! But it saves on electricity!)

But seriously, This book was given to me by my husband's grandmother to read. I think it was a touché of her own, see thanks to this book, I've just learned the Coelho I lent her last is undoubtedly one of the tools that this Prince Ishbane uses to tear the good away from God. Thats right, my sweet, beloved, albeit "metaphysical" Coelho, with his uplifting message of God's hand guiding us to our own person destinies is bad. Its on the list, give this author a few more pages and it might just pop up in the text!

I don't get spiritual warfare. The books suck because the authors are so worried about going to hell for writing about things that will send you to Hell that in order to appear more exciting they use the built in Word thesaurus a bit too liberally.

Oh I love bad books. My college roommate Nickell always said "Life is too short for bad fiction." and I agree, unless it spurns me to think about things in a new light, even if its not the light of the author's intent. I wonder how many would-be Christlings have been turned away by Alcorn and his ilk.

Otherwise, I'm enjoying it. *cough*

On Ishbane

The Ishbane Conspiracy

I don't read a lot of Christian Fiction. At all. Because of this.

I don't even have any complete thoughts on this book yet, I am only 40 pages in, but so far I've learned through immersion that Ouija boards, tarot cards, new age meditation and visualization, lesbianism and pre-marital sex is hell worthy. We knew that much, right?

Its so glaringly bad.

And while I'm no spiritual whiz-kid, I don't really agree with, oh, any of it. The line I just love in the demonic correspondence is "Don't ever let the MTV generation imagine the despicable truth- that the best sex happens among the married."

Now, having been married- twice, I think I'm almost an expert on marital and non-marital sex, having had plenty of both for lots of years. And while the best sex I have ever had is with the man I now call my husband, I have to be honest, it was MUCH better before we got married. Like tie me up and spoon feed me hamburger helper and drink too much wine better. Like violently, awesomely better. Now we grab a condom and hit the timer. Not that bad, but close, my vagina has been scorned and scarred afterall. If you haven't enjoyed some serious perineal tearing you can't imagine how your sex life will decline afterward.

But I digress.

How can someone who, theoretically, has never had sex outside the confines of marriage really write about how much better married sex is? Sure you don't really worry as much about the big PG, people expect it when you're married so a broken condom isn't as huge a deal (not that that bothered us, premaritally speaking), but are you really trying that hard to be awesome if you've already won that gigantic rock on your hand? And how great is this author's marriage-bed, i wonder? Do you think Mr. and Mrs. Alcorn have a mirror on the ceiling or a swing? I demand proof that their marital sex is better than all of the single fucking I did.

So those are my thoughts. May my soul rest in Alcorn's hell for them, but you know, sometimes I just want to slap people and remind them that demon correspondence is impossible because Duh! Demons can't write! The pencil would burn!