Lady Gaga Hairbow Tutorial

So my beautiful friend Ashley asked how I made my Lady Gaga hair bow, so I figured I'd do a really lazy step by step so that anyone who wants instant awesome can make it.

Its not that hard, but it does super suck to make- you'll see why! I totally didn't put much effort into this and its not at all thought out

Materials:

• Extension hair in your color (or not. whatevs)
• Glue gun+Glue
• Something to make the shape of a bow- I used Latch-hook canvas because I just had it laying around, but Foam board or cardboard would probably work just as well.
• Plastic headband
• Yarn and rubber bands
  
• Your inner Gaga

Step one:

1.
Get some hair, you'll want just enough to cover the board and make it lush, but not so much that it is impossible to work with. basically, you'll have no way of knowing this until you're haiting your life and you have kanekalon hair glued to your fingertips.

2.

Separate a small amount, this will be the center of your hairbow. I'm using a different color here so its easier to see, you use whatever color you want. Its your head.

3.

Cut a square of your board/latch hook canvas you stole from an old lady. The bigger, the more fabulous, but also, the more work!

4.

Pinch the center together and tie it with some yarn. Wow! A bow already!

5.

Lay your hair out and place the bow on top. You'll want your hair to be tied at both ends for less frustration. Trust me.

6.

Glue gun that shit. it doesn't have to be pretty, thats what the piece you've kept aside for. put glue over each layer you put on so that it sticks. Totally not good crafting practice, but its a gagabow. you're almost obligated to construct it poorly! Pull the hair from the other side once you have one side down.

7.

Lay the extra piece hair flat over the pretty side of your bow and bring both of the ends together on the butt-ugly side. GLUE THAT SHIT. Pay attention to where you're glueing it, keeping in mind that the paparazzi will totally see how crappy you made this step. I like to put the "seam" on the bottom, where it'll be glued to the headband.

8.

note how badly the back looks. yeah. like hell. deal with that in a few steps.

9.

The front should be pretty, however. awww.

10.

Okay, so there may be bald patches, so using your glue gun, put dabs of glue on the board and strategically hold hair in place. Use scissors to trim the stray hairs, and you can even add a coat of aqua net to tam any frizzies.

11.

Glue it to a headband and put on a leotard, you're as Gaga as you're gonna get!



Hope this helps some of you get your Gaga on, and if you do make one, show me a picture!

Jungle Junction

Cary loves it. I guess you can't win 'em all.

I rolled my eyes at every single preview for it, Animals with Wheels? Thats just too convenient for marketing toys, in my opinion.

But it is pretty cute, despite the old and worn out plotlines (in the episode that is on, the Elephant named Elevan-cause he's a VAN- can't stop sneezing... yeah, who HASN'T used that, and no one will use it better than the Movers.) and he's responding when they do the whole "Can you help?" interaction with the toddler bit.

In other 'I-care-too-much-about-preschool-TV' news, The Imagination Movers have finally responded to one of my Myspace comments! (I pretty much comment on EVERY blog. yes, I am that kind of mom.) Apparently "Roller Derby" is a keyword in getting noticed by children's entertainment Gods.




Please note that I HAVE A NICKNAME.

Jungle Junction and Imagination Movers come on Playhouse Disney.

Next Blog I plan on brutally dissecting the Fresh Beat Band. Bet you can't wait!

Normally I'd say something like Burly Out, but today, I think I'm just gonna chant MIGHTY KIM.

so...

MIGHTY KIM.

Scott the Giant Octopus is Ready!

We're two episodes in to the second season of Imagination Movers. I was waiting to withhold judgment until seeing a bit more, but I have a few things I'd like to say.

First, its painfully obvious that Knit Knots has moved on, but what do you tell your kid about the absence of this boring bloke? I have a few cover up stories that you can use if your toddler is wondering what happened.:

1. Knit Knots Industries had to close its boring doors after the economy took a nosedive- the people have spoken and in bad times Boring products just aren't what they're looking for. This explains Nina's new wardrobe as well- its pretty clear that by working for her uncle, he was only able to pay her a pretty boring paycheck, and being family she felt like she couldn't ask for more. She's probably a barista at Starbucks now and at least she has benefits.

2. Knit Knots moved back to Borovia and is living in a flat (because flats are nice and unexciting) with his cousin Drab Dull. He plans on working as soon as he gets his visa, but there is a hold up- apparently just by being American he's a shady fellow- Americans are far too exciting, even the boring ones.

3. Knit Knots died of boredom on one nice, uneventful afternoon. His obituatry was run in the local paper as just an empty column of space in tribute to his unexciting life, and he was laid to rest in a field of dirt in a cardboard casket. The immediate family all drank Beigejuice and ate squishies in his memory, following the "One for me, one for my homies" tradition.

Feel free to use them on your own children!

Other things of note:

• The "Huddle" joke is alive and well in the very first episode with Captain Terrific, too bad for his Terrific hearing, right guys?
• I love a good melodica joke, and in the second episode, Scott plays "Mysterious Music" on it as the food disappears. Love!
• Smitty goes from being the nerdy one briefly during the new brainstorming segment when his journal spins on his palm in a way that makes me weak in the knees.
• I like the little multi-colored-stained-glass saints logo (Fleur de Lis) on the warehouse wall. Way to show your team spirit, guys- you almost make ME wish I were a Saints fan.

All episodes appear on iTunes within the next week after airing, and as a superplusbonus they're available in HD as well as standard def! SCORE- you KNOW I'll be counting the gray hairs in Scott's goatee with this new technology.

Too much?

Had a dream that's been stuck in my head all day, would it be too Stephenie Meyer of me to write a 4 part saga based on it, each of the first three getting progressively better until it tanks into a terrible pit of poor writing and worse editing in the last one?

Yeah?

Fuck.

If the fridge could talk...

Oh boy, I have a secret to tell.

We go through a lot of Parmesan cheese in my house.

A lot.

Know why?

I eat handfuls at a time. Not even joking. I like when little balls of cheese form from you know, being in a refrigerated container, and you can easily pop them in your mouth. I usually do this when no one is looking, but I think my husband may be on to me. Its not like we have spaghetti THAT often...

What? I know you do something gross, too!

Pleasantville is anti-christian?

I guess I missed the memo where opening ones heart to others and creating community through diversity is unChristlike. Because he had all of the perfect ones in his brood. Oh yeah, I bet everyone LoooOOOOooooved the tax man! And lets not forget that he spent his time working with the, well, in Pleasantville terms, Colored folks. The imperfects.

In Ishbane there's a whole thing on the demons (whatever they are) using this movie to lure Christians away.

What do you mean I can't masturbate in the bathtub and love a painter?

What is funny is that I did consider showing this to my youth group. I would omit the sexual scenes because I'm not looking for a fight (today) but I think its an excellent film about tolerance and community growth. And who can ignore the conversations such a film inspires on racism and prejudice of difference! The water fountains say "colored" on them, people! This is a film that is on God's side!

Why is it that when reading Christian literature I always feel like God has given up on us? I am sick and tired of defending my own faith to myself. I think I'm ready for a sabbatical. Do Interims get sabbaticals? Doubtful. They don't even like me having an office. (as a touché I work from home. All that unused space! But it saves on electricity!)

But seriously, This book was given to me by my husband's grandmother to read. I think it was a touché of her own, see thanks to this book, I've just learned the Coelho I lent her last is undoubtedly one of the tools that this Prince Ishbane uses to tear the good away from God. Thats right, my sweet, beloved, albeit "metaphysical" Coelho, with his uplifting message of God's hand guiding us to our own person destinies is bad. Its on the list, give this author a few more pages and it might just pop up in the text!


I don't get spiritual warfare. The books suck because the authors are so worried about going to hell for writing about things that will send you to Hell that in order to appear more exciting they use the built in Word thesaurus a bit too liberally.

Oh I love bad books. My college roommate Nickell always said "Life is too short for bad fiction." and I agree, unless it spurns me to think about things in a new light, even if its not the light of the author's intent. I wonder how many would-be Christlings have been turned away by Alcorn and his ilk.

Otherwise, I'm enjoying it. *cough*

On Ishbane

The Ishbane Conspiracy

I don't read a lot of Christian Fiction. At all. Because of this.

I don't even have any complete thoughts on this book yet, I am only 40 pages in, but so far I've learned through immersion that Ouija boards, tarot cards, new age meditation and visualization, lesbianism and pre-marital sex is hell worthy. We knew that much, right?

Its so glaringly bad.

And while I'm no spiritual whiz-kid, I don't really agree with, oh, any of it. The line I just love in the demonic correspondence is "Don't ever let the MTV generation imagine the despicable truth- that the best sex happens among the married."

Now, having been married- twice, I think I'm almost an expert on marital and non-marital sex, having had plenty of both for lots of years. And while the best sex I have ever had is with the man I now call my husband, I have to be honest, it was MUCH better before we got married. Like tie me up and spoon feed me hamburger helper and drink too much wine better. Like violently, awesomely better. Now we grab a condom and hit the timer. Not that bad, but close, my vagina has been scorned and scarred afterall. If you haven't enjoyed some serious perineal tearing you can't imagine how your sex life will decline afterward.

But I digress.

How can someone who, theoretically, has never had sex outside the confines of marriage really write about how much better married sex is? Sure you don't really worry as much about the big PG, people expect it when you're married so a broken condom isn't as huge a deal (not that that bothered us, premaritally speaking), but are you really trying that hard to be awesome if you've already won that gigantic rock on your hand? And how great is this author's marriage-bed, i wonder? Do you think Mr. and Mrs. Alcorn have a mirror on the ceiling or a swing? I demand proof that their marital sex is better than all of the single fucking I did.

So those are my thoughts. May my soul rest in Alcorn's hell for them, but you know, sometimes I just want to slap people and remind them that demon correspondence is impossible because Duh! Demons can't write! The pencil would burn!